As a therapist, I have seen people withdraw from others, often for years, because they feel they are owed an apology due to another’s words or an event that occurred. However, while waiting, once close connections can erode, and bitterness sets in.

Apologising occurs when we become aware that we may have, intentionally or not, hurt someone. At the end of the day, it becomes more than who was wrong or right, it’s about a reconnection of the relationship. Sometimes, we need to apologise because it is time to drop the struggle.

Here are 4 tips to apologise…

1. At the most basic what you are doing is taking responsibility for your actions and/or their impact on another. This can often be hard but remember your apologising because you offended the other person not necessarily for your point of view.
2. Be sincere. Let the other person see you are genuine, and that you regret the situation and the impact it has caused.
3. Know that it can feel uncomfortable to say sorry and put yourself out there.
4. You do not own what the person does with your apology. Some people will accept your apology and you can move forward together, other people may not.

Keep the apology simple and start with “I”. You might choose to say something like – I am sorry that my words hurt you, that was never my intention. An apology alone might not fix the conflict, but it can go a long way in soothing the injury that our actions or words have caused another and isn’t that worth the risk?If you feel like you need support to apologise or how to deal with the pain of being hurt by another please reach out. Talking with a counsellor can be of great benefit because it allows you to look at the issue, own your part and then make good choices about what to do next.

If you would like to talk more about this topic please do not hesitate to connect with us at Redcliffe Counselling on 0487 844 603 or make an appointment direct at https://calendly.com/tanyafisher/75-minute-counselilng-session